Connect to your existing Cracked account if you have one or create a new Cracked username. John Cheese the Great and Powerful wrote a pretty legendary column a few years back about his experiences with sobriety. I read it while hungover a few months ago and thought, «Hey, maybe I should stop drinking for 30 days and see what all the fuss is about. Look, we all know for a fact that there’evolve dating gurus nothing more fun than drinking, or smoking pot, or, I don’t know, eating molly?
When you’re abusing alcohol, you don’t have to make too many decisions on how to spend your time. It’s gonna involve a bar, or a purse beer, or cocktails in your house, and anything past that is fucking gravy. You don’t need to plan anything — that’s your Fun Aunt Booze’s job! Hey kids, get in the car! Addicts tend to be people who can’t be okay unless they’re having fun. And number one in fun is your drug of choice!
Even Groucho Marx likes to let loose sometimes. Like, what is so bad about that? The only thing he’s in danger of is having a good-ass time. Plenty of people float down a river while drunk. In a way, these panicked cartoons have a point.